The Children of Today (Short Story)

Updated 12/16/2015

I used to be like you.

What I mean is that I've spent most of my life running from the life everyone else wants, rejecting it for the things you're not supposed to want.  I never wanted a marriage, or a career, or a whole herd of little ones underfoot.

What I really wanted to do was spend time with the Children of Today.  They got a little bit of news coverage a while back.  One of the big news sites ran an article that made them out to be some sort of cult.  Most of the stories on TV referred to them as “The Children of Today, a local motorcycle gang,” but I used to run with them, and they were never that.  The Children of Today were never anything more than some hard-rock boys and some punk-rock girls living on short hours at work and small budgets at home.  They bonded over a shared interest in tinkering and interstate driving and having a good time.  The “compound” (as it was called online) or “headquarters” (as seen on TV) that they have downtown is actually just a shared living space.  As you can imagine, it really helps some of the Children stretch those small budgets.

The Children of Today were never a huge story, even locally, but when something any of your friends are a part of shows up on TV, it's a huge story with your friends.  My friends outside the group had a lot of questions.  They obviously believed what they saw on TV, and the questions were pretty pointed and uncomfortable.  “Why do you still hang out with those guys?”  “How bad was the initiation?  Did you have to commit any crimes?”  “If you pay more, do you get to level up or something?”  None of it was based on facts at all, and it just drove me away.  And of course, the Children of Today were there to welcome me with open arms.
   
My parents, though, never gave up on me.  They took me see this guy, this Dr. Calderero.  He was amazing.  So patient.  He taught me that I had been living under so many mistaken beliefs:  that I am not quite like most other people, that I'm not really interested in a career and a family, that time spent with the Children of Today is more valuable to me than the extra money I would make working longer hours.  He helped me to correct those beliefs.  He, like my parents, could see the Children of Today for what they really were—a bunch of pathetic Peter Pans trying to extend their childhood by having sleepovers every night.  Harmless, perhaps, but unhealthy.

It took a while, months in fact, but eventually I came around to see reason.  I was ready to agree with my parents and Dr. Calderero.  I was even able to.  But I still didn't want to.  That's when Dr. Calderero really came through for me.

You see, he's one of the pioneers in Elective Neuropsychological Adjustment.  It's an outpatient procedure.  I kept my daily appointment with Dr. Calderero, but this day was unlike any of the ones before.  He opened the door to his dimly-lit back room, to what looked like an abandoned dentist's office, plus or minus the wrist and ankle restraints on the chair.

Once I was inside, Dr. Calderero shut and locked the door behind me.  My parents shaved my head.  I sat down in the chair and put on this funny hat while Dr. Calderero strapped me in.  The hat clung to the skin of my scalp, moist and sticky.  The restraints bit.  Dr. Calderero turned on a machine, and I fell asleep.  When I woke up, it was like no time had passed, like nothing had happened.

A lifetime had passed.  Everything had happened.

I was a new person after that.  I am a new person now.  I have new friends.  Some of my old ones are mixed in there, from before the Children, I guess.  I have a new job, too.  It's not quite what I expected, but things are looking up.  I'm well on my way to having the life everyone else wants.  It seems impossible, but I am.  You see, I used to be just like you,

But I'm not anymore.