The Weasel, the Dog, and the Fox: A Fable in the Classical Greek Style (short story)

A weasel and a dog went to a bar.  Both the dog and the weasel exchanged phone numbers with a fox.  The weasel called the fox the next day to set up a date that night.  The day after that, the dog called the fox, and they went out on a date.  After three days, the fox didn't call the dog, so the dog went back to the bar again to find another date.

When the fox didn't call the weasel back after a week, the weasel called the fox to set up another date, but this time, he brought the fox a gift.  The day after the second date, the weasel called the fox to set up a third date.  The weasel and the fox went on a date a week for a year, and the weasel bought many gifts for the fox.  Finally, the two were wedded, over parental objections.  Their years of married misery ended in a murder-suicide, while the dog enjoyed a long life of serial monogamy.